So… the other day I took my kids to the fair, like I do every year. The first attraction that we encounter upon entry is a “mobile museum”, a trailer fashioned as a mini walk through museum. There was a dinosaur statue out front and a table selling all kinds of sciency shit, so right away my kids were asking to go in. The dude running it says it’s free so we grabbed our headsets for the audio tour and headed in.

So as I’m standing in line with my kids, trying to figure out these circa 2008 iPod looking devices for the audio tour, I look up and see it. A large poster all about the absurdity of evolutionists and the historical significance of Noah’s ark. It was a creationist museum.

I nervously blurted out “I… don’t know if I want to proceed” and my kids about flew off the handle. They wanted to see the cool dinosaur stuff (spoiler alert: it turned out to be a boring display about how dinosaurs and humans coexisted). I didn’t want to cause a scene and additionally, we were already in line AND in a fenced in area (the sons of bitches had us trapped). So onward we went past display after display warning us of the absurdity of evolutionists and how the Big Bang is a lie.

At that point I still hadn’t figured out the audio device thingies (mostly because I was too busy rolling my eyes into another dimension) so I just took the kids’ headphones and told them we didn’t need them. It was an awkward 2.5 minutes as we blatantly ignored the “go at the correct pace” system and squeezed through the confined space past the other victims museum-goers while my children loudly blurted out how boring it was.

The lesson folks, I suppose, is to vet your fairground entertainment lest ye be lured into a creationist propaganda mobile.

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